Still Cannot Decide

As you know from previous posts, I have always fantasized about experimenting with other women, but never actually participated in any sexual activity with anyone but my wife for as long as we have been together. Even though there have been a few times where I could have easily put myself in a position to "experiment", I have always been faithful. Today was another one of those times.

I have been spending a lot of time online at night since my wife and I don't exactly have the same schedule (at all!). Over the past couple months, there is really only one person that I talk to on a regular basis. Most of the people I talk to online don't keep my attention for very long at all, so I get bored easily. That is definitely not the case with this girl. I love spending time talking with her. If I was ever going to mess around with someone, she would be the first I would go to. She is extremely sexy, funny, laid back, intelligent, and definitely knows how to turn me on. The pictures that she sends me drive me absolutely crazy! I feel like I could totally trust her to keep everything between us discreet, and we both know that we would have fun together if we had the chance to get together. And today I had that chance. I was driving home from out of town, and knew I was going to be driving past her place on my way home. It was a little out of the way, but not too far. I had been texting her off and on all weekend talking about possibly coming over on my way home. It seemed like a good idea, and I was excited to finally meet her face to face after all of our talks. On my way out, I got a message from her, asking me what my plan was. This is when I freaked out.

After telling me that she would still be around today and wanted me to stop by, I got nervous about meeting. Wondering how I would feel afterwards, since I could not go back and change what I had done. I had about 100 miles to think about it.

By the way, text messaging and driving at the same time is NOT a good idea! Some idiot driving a minivan decided he wanted to come over to my lane while I was right next to him, but I didn't see him at first since I was typing on my phone!

Anyways.... I continued safely on my journey and ended up chickening out when I got to her exit. I just kept going. I had been looking forward to this opportunity all weekend, and then decided to just go home. As I past her town, I wondered what I would be like to kiss her, to feel her tongue in my mouth, to feel her hands on my body, wherever she wanted them to be. It has been so long since I had been that close with another woman. We both knew it would have been wrong, but also knew it would be a lot of fun, and nobody would ever know except for us. This was a perfect opportunity for me, and I didn't take it. I think that I was just worried about how I would feel afterwards. Would I have a guilty conscience? Maybe I was scared that she wouldn't like what she saw, and then wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore. I will never know. At least not from anything that happened today. I still am not sure if I am happy with my decision to not pay her a visit today. I probably should have gone over and at least showed my face, but can't go back now.